Insomnia

I guess i should write when i cant sleep
and pray when i cant think
but what do i do
when i cant escape the thoughts of you.....

Hungry?

23 yr old, black male, with a college degree and yes I am full of myself!!!

"show me someone not full of themself and i will show you a hungry person"-- Nikki Giovanni

Ouch

Shattered but i'm not broken....

Expectations

Expectations lead to disappointment

I expect nothing therefore I cannot be disappointed.

Clearing

underneath it all
who am i
impeccably dressed styled to the T
i wipe tears from the face of who i believe is me

standing in the mirror at a face i used to know
i allowed the world to stunt me and i no longer grow
outgrowing stipulations, regulations, and preconcieved notations

i rip myself of society's wares
i leave behind all premonitions and cares
ridding myself of who the world thinks i should be
i found solace in knowing that....
I am ME

Resurfacing

Haven't came back to this old place since YOU found it...
it was no longer mine it was no longer sacred
I had to remind myself even though you found it
it was still mine...i possessed it, but YOU possessed me

Whatever it Takes

I hope I have enough to keep you
because I know I don't have enough to leave you...

Untitled 1

falling victim to ur lies
false treaties forged as you stare into my eyes
sweet kisses decieve me when they tell me your all mine
gotta quit u put an end to it this time...

Untitled 2

thoughts of you constantly invade my mind

while i sit on the side playing it cool abiding my time

thinking that one day you will see all the wonders i possess

thinking one day i could pass your test

thinking that you will see me for all i truly am

the one who knew about your bullshit

but didn't give a damn

the one that loved....

no the one that LOVES you...

SO i did it

I finally got my tat ( it says V.Dier) on the inside of my right wrist and it wasn't too bad, and partied wit the crew this weekend. Still debating about what to wear to the Badu concert....thiknking about jocking Kanye wit this outfit what yall think??

So I'm Stoked

(My Tickets to see E.Badu 3-6-09)

Picked up my concert tix to see the infamous Badu yesterday, went to class had 2 tests that I ain't know shit about (how do i miss these things in class) ....O i forgot i ain't go to class....lol I still wrecked them hoes, i have one more today but its an online test tho, so its open book or in my eyes by any means necessary I will do whatever i gotta do to get an A, i met with my group for my marketing communications project knocked out our paper so that eliminated any homework for that class....always a plus.

Was supposed to go get tatted last night with a few friends but ended up missing it because I had to go by another friend's birthday dinner. tried to sustain from alcohol because i heard it makes u bleed more when u get tatted. but anyone who knows me knows that it would be easier for R.Kelly to stay away from playgrounds than for me to not drink during a REVERSE Happy Hour (9p to 11p), so again last night Patron did me wrong.

But on the up and up I ran into an old friend I knew from Stephen F. Austin State University before i transferred, we chatted up she told me how good I looked with facial hair. I told her I was going to the Badu concert and she told me she was doing Badu's make-up. U know me I'm tryna see if i can carry the make up equipment or something just for the chance to meet Ms. Badu.......

me wit facial hair

The Ankhs, the wraps, the plus degrees

"Everything around you seeThe Ankhs, the wraps, the plus degreesAnd yes even the mysteriesIts all meSometimes it hard to move you seeWhen you growing publicyBut if I have to chose betweenI chose me" - Me, E.Badu, New Amerykah Pt. 1

YES! I am going to see her just bought my tickets and plan on picking them up tonight!!!

Can't speak for the rest of the world but to me Erykah is the truth I can see myself sitting there now yelling "Do what ya do, Badu" or "Can't nobody do Badu like you do" lol lines I've stolen from Joan on Girlfriends .man I am hopin she hit us wit some ole school at the show too you know like:

-Yeyo

-Orange Moon

-Kiss me on my Neck

-Clever

-I'm in love wit u

-Pick ya Afro

I am like a die hard Badu fan and plan on really enjoying this concert. I bought two tickets and now here comes the hard part I just gotta find a date.....Anybody in Houston March 6 wit no plans lol...

"I'm an orange moon I'm brighter than before, brighterReflecting the light of the sunSmile at me"- E. Badu, Orange Moon

Like Crazy

I been gone, so I figure yall missing me like crazy.... lol





Naw just working and school started back and now we got a black prez. things couldn't get any better, just droppin a line to let yall know I am still breathing. Oh yea doin the completely single thing again and just hangin wit my peepz.... Well bout to leave work and head to class, here is a pic of me and my homies hitting poetry night at the Shadow Bar downtown.

PS Yea I know thats the shirt I had on in my New Year's post but dammit I think its my new favorite shirt.....at least it was clean............... i think lol

Peace

Happy New Year

Here are a few pics of me on New Years Eve out shoppin wit ma peeps. Hope everyone had a good New Year!!

As for me it was cool just chillin wit tha homies (got wasted), but that was a known fact anyway. Gotta get an oil change too so my damn oil light can go off. I am so sleeeeeeeeeeeeepy but stuck at work. Oh yea first read of the New Year, I picked up Eric Jerome Dickey's newest book, Dying for Revenge, sure to be a good read, Dickey never lets me down.

Merry Christmas

So its Christmas Eve/ Christmas and I am/ was/ is drunk and i am thinking FUCK YOU! wouldn't be mad if i never saw your face again, you don't count like nothing. So much for a Happy FUCKIN Holiday....oh well return to the regularly scheduled program.

Feed me...

lies and bullshit that I don't need is all u feedin me. so fuck you and fuck off. i don't need you tho i will admit i did want you but what do you give me, nothing and a whole lot of it, by the time you realize what the fuck is standing in front of you, i will be gone. You never miss your water til your well runs dry that shit is the truth. Man i am so fuckin pissed as if you couldn't tell. Why? WHy? WHY? the fuck do you volunteer lies if you lie about the lil shit then its guaranteed that you will lie about anything. You lil lying fucking bitch!

p.s. yea I am still gonna spend the night....lmao

So I lied

lol i ain't walk away from shit, spent the night, got breakfast, took pictures.....
i guess i have no willpower but who gives a damn i am smiling today no matter how long it lasts i am happy in my current situation. well its almost time for me to get off work, 50 min exactly.
I have my last final on Wednesday its in my stats class i should be studying just can't I got senioritis ready to get this degree and chill for a minute.

um nothing to really talk about that much....

o yea ex girlfriend called me from her new boyfriend house asking did I wanna attend the john legend concert with her but she ain't talkin bout buyin the tickets so fuck it lol

but hell idk, whats up wit ya blogworld

Leavin...

slowly.

surely.

I walk away from love.

-Jill Scott

I ain't no Kanye...

lift me to drop me

nurse me to hurt me

kiss me then kick me

give me to take

this is my tale of heartbreak, no 808's......

********** I hold my nuts as I exit************

Party and Bullshit

Thats all I been doing. I mean its time for finals, but who the hell even feels like going to class. I mean its like I fell into a slump I just wanna drink and hang out with friends, since I haven't had much luck with my romantic life, it sux cow balls, so forget it one of my homies had a bday so we shut down the VIP....

patron and punch all night, stepped out looking fresh in my new Cole Haan loafers (thanks to the black friday sales..... I racked up some shit) so I am about to be even flyer........I wanna apologize for not posting that much but like I told yall I been slumming., but I am back guaranteed cuz when i keep all this sad real life shit to myself i get depressed... i mean like white ppl depressed just don't be feelin life like at all but shit its all to the good lemme show ya the pics of how fly the kid was at the club

NONE OF YA

I aint got shit to say to none of ya!!!!!!!!!!

thats y i havent blogged lately :

*still holdin my nuts

WANTED

I want a tattoo, shiiiit I just seen Karrie B new tats and I am impressed. I have no ink but i know if i get a tat I want something significant somewhere private. Any ideas?? cmon ppl Hindu quotes, ancient proverbs.....lol cmon give me some ideas......

just a lil eye candy...lol j/k

Mental States.Physical Boundaries.

unlocking.
my minds gate.

running.
to touch you.

longing.
to see you.

hating.
to want you.

I am.
my biggest vice.

I am.
my greatest fear.

I am.
my own enemy.



** I know i dont do this much just my random thoughts**
********** I hold my nuts as I exit************

Bar Brawlin and Name Callin

So last night I was watching the game wit my homie when he gets a call from his white homies invitin us out for drinks at a bar, I was already in heiniken heaven before we left so shit yall know I aint one to turn down no drinks, so we hop in the whip and drive to meet the homies. It was my first time meeting them but to my suprise they were white (no problem i ain't racist or no shit like that) we headed to The Village to bar hop a lil. O yea I dont like puttin names on the blog so here is the break down of the crew :

• Me



• Tall black homie



• Big white dude



• lil short white dude
  

Short white dude drives and he is already pissed cuz he was rooting for the texans and they lost so he was drivin all crazy. We make it to the bar and have to beg the bouncer to let us in cuz tall black homie lost his wallet and all he had was a photocopy of his ID . So if you are thinking like me you wanna know HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LOSE YOUR WALLET BUT HAVE A PHOTOCOPY OF YOUR ID? idk but anyway we get in and in normal white people fashion the white guys buy all the drinks (shots of yager, heinekens, and a shot called Undercurrent) o yea when i asked whats in the undercurrent lil short white dude tells me and then was like it taste like kool-aid....my thoughts"cuz i'm black i gotta like koolaid?" but shit he paying for it and I do like kool aid and that shot was good as hell. I get fucked up I start chilling, but big white dude was like you to quiet dude gotta get u talkin, so we find this attactcive black lady (quite a task in a white bar) and the convo was a lil something like this.

Big White dude: hey my friend here wants to buy u a drink

Lady: O, thanks but I already have a drink


My thoughts: ( damn, she tryna shoot me down)


Big White Dude: But he can buy your next one




****Big White dude walks out to smoke a cigarette****




so I stay and chat with the lady although it seems as if she tried to blow me off


I get a few details she ain't from Houston, just moved from Florida


She asked what I do i tell her I work at ________ Bank Fraud Dept ( not putting my bank name on this blog lol)



and this lady tells me she works for Sara Lee




Yes folks the fuckin cake company!!!!!




I shake her hand, tell her it was nice to meet her and walk off




I ain't talkin to no Cake Bakin B*tch that tried to shoot me down....


uh uh...not cool





















I WAS FUCKED UP .......


so of course I had a blast.




(and see I am posting a lil more frequently,Karrie B. )

Happy Howl-O-Ween

So today is Halloween... Didn't plan on doing shit but the Job is having a Halloween Costume contest, so I ran out and found a $20 Caveman costume before work yesterday. Yep thats right $20 and i look like a real caveman...yep here is the costume now just imagine me in it....

So I won the contest at work and i got a $20 gift card to Wal-Mart. So yea my costume paid for itself. lol but it sucks to be walking around downtown like this all day lol, u should've seen the looks I got, but hell you only live once so why not get wild and crazy every now and then. O yea some random white lady asked to take a picture of me in my costume on the light rail when I was coming back from voting (Barack the Vote) i said yea cuz it just seemed like the right thing to do but as i look back in retrospect I just hope my picture doesn't end up on some Feed the children commercial or some National Geographic shit. o yea another thing although my costume is clearly that of a caveman (hence the club a la Bam Bam of the Flinstones) my coworkers (the ones that aren't black) say that I look like I am part of an African tribe...hmmm idk how I feel about that, hopefully in my drunken stupor I remember to take pics tonight cuz i plan on getting FUCKED up...o yea i voted in my caveman costume (so easy even a caveman can do it)...sorry Geico....on another note

O yea I promise to blog more....

O yea I promise to blog more....

O yea I promise to blog more....

O yea I promise to blog more....

O yea I promise to blog more....

O yea I promise to blog more....

O yea I promise to blog more....

O yea I promise to blog more....

O yea I promise to blog more....

O yea I promise to blog more....

Yall get my drift lol

So um yea about that

So i been MIA, thanks to my granny's remedies I'm back and I'm on my shit like flies....lol, I got the new G1.....its a beast (yes, HATE me) muhahahahaha


I been havin so much fun just like crazy shit. hittin the downtown scene. takin pics wit random white people knowing my best friend couldn't handle her shots and blew chunks when we made it hm. I know i haven't been bloggin much between being sick, shopping, goin out, school, work, and my HORIZONTAL dating life its hard to get around to spending time with this silent computer screen lol, but man i gotta slow down this goin out all the time ain't bout shit....but yea I may go out tonight.....shit you only live once.....well i'm out for now catch me on top....cuz Hotness rises.....lmao


oh yea i found one of our pics from the club this is post devil water so excuse the sweat

Excuse my Absence

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I'm Sick!!!!!!! Hope its not the flu

but i gotta lot to update yall on....

STAY TUNED THERE'S MORE TO SEE

Pictures as Promised

So here are the pics from my crazy asss weekend in tha durrrty D (Dallas, Texas)...

more to come...fuckin mac book trippin

ARRRRRRGGGGHHH! How I hate Mondays right. I'm super tired from this weekend and Monday is just a reminder that no matter how hard you try you can never catch up on sleep that you missed.

Another thing today is not only Monday its Colombus day, remember back in the day in those good ole elementary school daze we was outta school errday so today woulda straight been cartoons ALL day!!!!! But things change and instead of cartoons I have work and school all day, GRRRR! but nevermind that its Happy Hour(@ Sonic) lol Cmon you guys I'm at work I wouldn't do that, but my bizzest homie is bringin be a big ass lemon berry slush and I can't wait.

Oh yea over the weekend I got picture of the week at http://msfbpuddin.blogspot.com/2008/10/picture-of-week.html

so yea check it out.....Oh yea I went to Dallas for the game I'll post some pics of the fuckery that was my weekend , I'm out for now

Guess who's Back

I'm back like cooked crack. Yea I tried this blogging thing then lost focus, translation " I started dating again" but got kicked to the curb faster than Aretha could clear out a rib shack. Man I been just working and trying to stay focused, but at times life can make you wanna pull a Heath Ledger and end it all with a bottle of pills....but i'm back. Stay tuned I just finished some chinese food at work and my fortune cookie said, "Life to you is a dashing bold adventure"....yea sure it is, we'll see.............

Day 2

Well after leaving work I went to go visit a special someone ended up sleepin over and not making it home til like 4 am. i had a great time for the first time since my break up with my ex it seems i may actually be letting someone in.....scary... i know ..... i once read in a book that love is like skydiving, when you jump out that plane there is no guarantee that other person is going to jump out behind you but in the worst case scenario you jump out the plane look down on the ground and see the other person never even got in the plane....a real joykill but thats the same thing about love. we r so interested because its new and exciting and we can try to predict the outcome but are never too sure, i guess if love was routine no one would want to be in it. being honest this blogging thing is kind of a relief just sharing my thoughts with the world secretly hoping that no one will look at it but me and the select few that I invite into my life. Feels like this week could take forever to get by but boy o boy I can't wait til Friday. I plan on having a great weekend, doin what, absolutley nothing.... just relaxing and having peace of mind. but we all know thats subject to change at any time with the way my life usually is....hectic. I know so far that i have to go to the barber on wednesday so i can be fresh for thursday night at LEVEL, i must inform you that Houston Downtown nightlife ROCKS!!!! lol i plan on partyin hard. um ok well i guesss since i am at work i should actually be doin somethin... i'll get back to this blog thing soon enough....

Getting Started

Never blogged before. but been taking a look at some blogs online. hey. these peoples lives are pretty lame if u ask me. but you didn't. oh well. i'm telling you anyway. I guess this creates a space where I can be me saying what I want to say kinda like my live journal. wow. yea it is the world is now in trouble i can share my thoughts with complete strangers, who you never know, may feel the same way I do. right now I am sitting at work on a Sunday, obviously not working but what the hell i'm still getting paid for it. this is kinda surreal I never thought I would have this much to say to complete strangers. i guess when my significant other isn't responding to my texts in time then what the hell i'll invite strangers to share my world, uh oh does this mean i'm having a net affair i hope not cuz i'm really not the cheating type I promise (scout's honor). lol. um i dont know what all i should share with you all and what i shouldn't the net can be a dangerous place. ya know. so we'll play it cool for now I wont tell u all my business until i am sure u can handle it. ya know sometimes the truth is just as ugly as homemade sin.